Dining Out with Food Allergies

After Olivia was diagnosed with food allergies, our dining out routine changed dramatically.

Gone were the days where we could say "hey, let's try out that new restaurant" without a second thought about the menu.

Now we have a running list of where we can go and where we can't go. Olivia will never eat at Five Guys. She likely won't learn how amazing sushi can be. Hibachi restaurants are off limits. Chick-Fil-A is a no-go. Burger King is off the list.

Why so many "no" restaurants, you ask? Let me explain....

Five Guys fries in peanut oil and has boxes of peanuts at the door. It would be like walking through a mine field. Sushi = sesame seeds which = cross contact. Same with the hibachi restaurants. The last time we ate at one Olivia was sick the rest of the night (this was B.A. - before allergies). Chick-Fil-A also has a peanut oil issue. And have you seen the buns at Burger King? It's sesame seed heaven.

Nope. Nope. And nope.

Now our restaurant routine is more like "Hey, we should go here." To which I normally respond "I'm not sure if it's safe for Olivia. I'll have to call/check the menu."

I'm a big menu reader. And since Olivia's diagnosis my eyes immediately dart to words like "sesame seeds," "coconut shrimp," and "[insert peanut and/or tree nut] encrusted whatever."

Who would have thought that words as innocuous as "sesame," "coconut," "pecans," and "hazelnut" would become my red flag words? 

If we're dining somewhere new the first thing I do is tell the waitress "My daughter has a peanut, tree nut, and sesame seed allergy so please inform the kitchen of this so they can ensure there is no cross contact." I also make sure that the food isn't fried in peanut oil. And if I see things like coconut shrimp on the menu I know we can't order anything fried. The risk just isn't worth it.

Recently on vacation we stopped to dine at a Mexican restaurant in West Virginia and when I asked the waiter if the tortilla chips were fried in peanut oil his response was "Cheese dip?" It took several attempts at asking the same question (and getting the same "cheese dip?" answer) before we learned the chips were safe.

Sometimes food allergies are lost in translation.

We have a running list of "safe" places for Liv here in Toledo (and a list of "no way Jose!" places too). 

We love dining at Ciao! for special occasions like birthdays - they are always receptive to my "allergy instructions." The same is true of Mancy's Italian. Olive Garden is a good spot and Liv recently dined at Red Lobster with her dad and they gave her their "allergy menu" which was pretty awesome.

We frequent our local Fricker's for wings. Subway is a good bet for sandwiches (in turn we avoid the local bagel shop because there are sesame seeds everywhere).

Basically if I walk into a restaurant and tell the waitress/waiter about Olivia's food allergies and they (1) write it down and (2) come back with updates from the chef about what is safe/not safe I am willing to add that spot to our "safe to visit" list.

Of course menus can always change and ingredients can and do change so it's a good idea to ALWAYS tell the servers about Liv's allergies.

And sometimes I need to do some investigation before allowing Olivia to visit a restaurant - including reading the menu if it is online or even visiting in person to see what's what. 

Dining out with food allergies is challenging but it can be done. One of the things I'm going to do with this blog is short reviews of local restaurants with a good/bad rating when it comes to allergies.

Happy dining!

Life Isn't Fair.

There's something that's been nagging me all day. It's not anything earth-shattering but it's like an annoying buzzing noise that just won't go away.

So in order to make it stop, I figured a blog post was in order.

I was eating lunch the other day with a group of women (of varying ages) when Olivia's food allergies came up.

As we discussed what Olivia can and can't eat one woman at the table said at her grandson's school they ban ALL classroom treats because of the prevalence of food allergies.

I said I wished Olivia's old elementary school had done that when she was there because even though the classroom parties (Halloween and Christmas) were normally "safe" for her, every single time a kid brought in cupcakes or cookies for a birthday Olivia wasn't able to eat one and had to eat a Jolly Rancher instead.

And I said how unfair that was for her to be singled out because of her allergies.

And then someone at the table said "life isn't always fair."

Excuse me?

Life. Isn't. Always. Fair.

I had to (1) quickly change the topic so as to not lose my shit at the country club, and (2) pretend I didn't really hear those words in relation to food allergies and MY daughter.

Now, I have NO idea if the person was saying that like "man, that really sucks that Olivia wasn't able to participate" or if it was more like "sucks to be Olivia but she needs to learn that life isn't always fair."

I like to give most people the benefit of the doubt so I'm going to assume that the person who said that wasn't saying it to be mean and spiteful but was rather just a bit clueless when it comes to kids with food allergies.

Because let me tell you, we already know that life isn't always fair. There's nothing "fair" about food allergies.

Kids with food allergies learn early on what it's like to be "left out" and "singled out." They know what it's like to constantly hear "No, you can't eat that" and "No, we can't go there because it's not safe."

Recently on vacation in the Outer Banks we were dining out and Olivia had a tough time with the meal. We weren't able to order her favorite appetizer (calamari) because it was cooked in the same oil as coconut shrimp and we avoid coconut. That was the first "no" of the night. Then at dessert she had a meltdown when she really wanted the chocolate mousse but we weren't sure if it was safe.

Imagine for a moment crying over dessert. Doesn't sound like much fun, does it?

In the end the chocolate mousse was deemed "safe" and Olivia was able to enjoy it. But that doesn't normally happen.

So the next time you feel like telling a food allergy parent that "life isn't fair" you might want to rethink your choice of words.

Instead of thinking about how "fair" it is to bring cupcakes or cookies into a classroom (or how "unfair" it is to prohibit them) think about how you would feel if you were the ONLY PERSON in a group of your friends who couldn't eat the same thing everyone was eating. And imagine that the food you can't eat is something you LOVE.

Think about how you might feel singled out. And now imagine that you're a child in a classroom where everyone is eating a cupcake except you - you're eating a Rice Krispie treat or a piece of candy. And that's just NOT the same.

Life isn't fair.
But please don't feel the need to remind us of that.

Hi There.

So because I don't have enough to do already (cough, cough) I decided it was high time to start another blog.

You know, to add to the three I already have (one of which I sort of pay attention to, one that I'm trying to love more, and one that I haven't loved posted on in YEARS).

But this blog is different.

This is all about allergies. Olivia's allergies to be specific.

If you're new to my world (hello you!), let me give you the 4-1-1 on what's going on.

Olivia is 11. She'll be entering 6th grade in the fall (ACK!) and she's been living with food allergies since the fall of 2011.

She was diagnosed with allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame seeds when she was in the second grade. To say we were shocked by the diagnosis would be an understatement. We had NO idea that anything was wrong.

In retrospect we probably should have suspected something - she would throw up after eating peanut butter and finally stopped eating at completely. We dined at a Hibachi restaurant about 10 months before her diagnosis and she was ill that night (we know now that it was from the sesame seeds). And as a baby she had horrible eczema and issues with certain formulas).

Now, we've been living with and dealing with the challenges of life-threatening food allergies for almost four years.

I wish I could say it gets easier but it doesn't. It's more of a routine now. There are still tears and frustration (from Olivia mostly but also from me). There are challenges. There are horrible people who can't see past the end of their noses.

But we deal.

So this blog is going to be about how we're dealing. And what we're doing. And places we love to visit in our city (the "Glass City" is Toledo, Ohio just in case you were wondering) and beyond. I'm going to share a lot, so be prepared.

And, thanks for reading!