And I Quote: "What Is a Tree Nut?"

On two separate occasions and at two separate restaurants in the past month I've had a waitress ask me "What is a tree nut?"

On both occasions I tried to answer without first saying "Are you effing kidding me?"

First: If you're going to work at a restaurant you damn well better know what a tree nut is.

Second: See above.

At the first restaurant I explained all the different types of tree nuts and that both of my children were allergic to many of them.

Today, at Bob Evans (!!!) of all places this is what happened:

1. I told the waitress that my daughters had food allergies. She gave me a blank stare. I said "you probably should write these down."

2. I said "tree nuts." She says "what is a tree nut?" I said "Um, really? Tree nuts include pecans, walnuts, hazelnuts, almonds, pistachios ... you know NUTS THAT GROW ON TREES." She says "Oh."

3. I stopped the manager and asked HIM if he knew what a tree nut was. "Yes, I think so," he says. I say "well, I suggest you explain it to your wait staff because our waitress has NO idea what tree nuts are."

There is absolutely NO excuse for this lack of knowledge when you're serving food to people who might have food allergies. And at a major chain like Bob Evan? It's beyond inexcusable.

Keep the Food Out of the Classroom

This year Olivia has been taking 'exploratory' foreign language classes - French and Spanish. And because schools can't seem to stop bringing food into the classroom, both classes have planned a "food" day where students can eat French or Spanish food to "learn" about the culture.

The French food day happened before we knew Olivia was allergic to gluten so I (begrudgingly) sent in a baguette and some brie. I also let the teacher know about Liv's allergies so that no one questioned why she wasn't eating the macarons and other stuff.

Next week the Spanish class is hosting its food day. This time we're dealing with the gluten allergy, a newly diagnosed shellfish allergy, and the constants of peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame seeds.

Olivia has decided she wants to make me to make some grilled beef salad (seriously the recipe is HUGE, but I'll do it). That might be the only thing she'll be able to eat unless someone brings in corn chips and salsa. I don't know how likely that is.

And once again I've had to email the teacher to inform her of all Liv's allergies and to ask that she makes sure no one gives Olivia a hard time about not eating food.

Honestly, I just don't get it.
Why do we have food in the classroom at all? 

With the prevalence of food allergies today why do schools/teachers/administrators still insist on bringing food into the classroom?

The classroom is a place to LEARN not a place to EAT. You want to eat? Go to the cafeteria at lunch time. Books in the classroom, food in the cafeteria.

I know events like this add stress for Olivia - stress that she doesn't need. She doesn't want to flaunt her allergies, she just wants to live with them and be as 'normal' as possible.

It's time to get the food out of the classroom.

Happy 13th Birthday

Olivia turned 13 earlier this week (!!!) and we celebrated with a night out at Georgio's, a high-end restaurant here in town.

We love Georgio's - and we try to go once a year (usually for Liv's birthday). It's really REALLY expensive but oh so worth it (and a gift certificate each year helps a lot).

In the past Georgio's has been great about Liv's allergies - we let the waitress know what needs to be avoided and the kitchen makes it happen. Of course, she's usually ordering steak so that's pretty easy.

This year we added "no gluten" to the mix and the kitchen was, once again, wonderful. Liv loves the sauteed Haloumi cheese (really...you need to order this!) and the kitchen used corn starch instead of flour to coat the cheese. She also ordered a steak dish that came with a red wine reduction and the kitchen made a roux WITHOUT FLOUR just for Liv.

And THAT my friends is how you deal with food allergies.

The only setback came when they brought out a slice of cake for her birthday - with candles and all - and the cake was a Macadamia Nut Bomb. The waitress felt horrible about her mistake and quickly returned with a bowl of vanilla ice cream AND chocolate creme brulee.

the cake with nuts! :(

If you're ever in Toledo and you're looking for a wonderful place for lunch or dinner, make the drive downtown for Georgio's. It'll be worth it.

I'm Back! Summer Vacation Allergy Adventures Edition

Wow. Would you look at that? It appears that the blog took a summer vacation.
(That's my story and I'm sticking to it).

So, what did you do on your summer vacation? We took two trips - a Caribbean cruise and a short weekend in St. Louis.

Managing Olivia's allergies on the cruise was pretty easy - we had an amazing head waiter in the Main Dining Room (on Oasis of the Seas) and he went ABOVE AND BEYOND to make sure Olivia was safe every night at dinner. Heck, he even cut her steak each night (LOL).

The one negative on our cruise was when we visited the ship's ice cream shop and the crew member told us that they "don't serve people with allergies." Um, 'scuse me? You 'don't serve' people with allergies? How about if you EDUCATE YOURSELF about food allergies and actually offer something that would be safe - or even TRY to make an effort to help passengers find an answer when it comes to allergens in the ice cream.

And then, St. Louis. We had some good and some bad. Let's do good first.

Since we were visiting St. Louis I decided we HAD to eat at Imo's Pizza - the home of the 'St. Louis-style pizza.' I emailed the company and told them we needed to avoid peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame seeds and within a couple of days I had an email in return! They assured me that the crust was safe but to avoid the sandwiches as the bread contained sesame seeds.

My review: pizza was great! We'd definitely go back - they made sure to note Olivia's allergies when we ordered.

Then the not-so-good - Angelo's Taverna in St. Louis. We decided to stop here for lunch since it was connected to our hotel. As we were being seated I noticed that the rolls were covered in sesame seeds so I knew those were off limits!

I told the waiter about the allergies - peanuts, tree nuts, and SESAME - and he assured me that he told the kitchen. We ordered calamari - but not before asking the waiter to again ask the kitchen if the breading was safe and free from allergens. He left the table and came back with an assurance that it was safe.

Olivia ate a piece of calamari and then she saw them - sesame seeds IN THE BREADING. Yes, seriously. She immediately stopped eating. When the GM stopped by our table I told him about the calamari and he said "there's no sesame in the breading." Then he checked with the kitchen and GUESS WHAT? They use their day-old bread that is COVERED IN SESAME SEEDS to make ALL the breading in the restaurant.

I told him he's lucky I didn't need to Epi-Pen my kid in the middle of the restaurant.

Seriously - train your wait staff to understand the severity and seriousness of food allergies.
Total fail for Angelo's.

On a brighter note: we also stopped at Culver's on our way to Missouri and they were WONDERFUL when it came to Liv's allergies. They actually type in the allergies as you order and Olivia was able to enjoy chicken tenders and fries. She didn't feel comfortable with the frozen custard - which was OK with me. I was just happy to find another spot that takes allergies seriously.

I hope you had a safe and allergy-free summer too!

No Nuts = NO Nuts

Over the weekend Olivia was part of a ballet production here in town.

A few days before dress rehearsal a set of production notes were sent out and in those notes was a sentence (in bright red text and all caps) that basically said do not bring any kind of nuts backstage for snacks.

This directive was due to the fact that there are a couple dancers (Olivia included) who are allergic to peanuts and/or tree nuts.

So...the first night of rehearsal I saw at least one dancer eating a peanut butter snack. 

Night two of rehearsal one of Liv's friends came running upstairs to tell me there was an open bag of almonds backstage in the dressing room. So...we told the production manager about it and she quickly went downstairs to repeat the NO NUT directive.

My one thought was: SERIOUSLY? And then I thought "Can people just not read"? ... or do they just not care? And I decided it was mostly the latter.

Parents of kids without food allergies see the "don't send nuts" directive and either choose to ignore it or think it only means PEANUTS. Or (again) maybe they're just clueless and don't care.

Over the course of the weekend I had to tell another dancer she couldn't eat a doughnut that was coated in peanuts (!!!!!) and she then threw out TWO MORE doughnuts that were swimming in nuts (WTH?) and then ANOTHER dancer said "Can I eat pistachios? They aren't peanuts."

Um....NO. You can't eat pistachios.
Or peanuts.
Or hazelnuts.
Or Nutella.
Or almonds.
Or walnuts.
Or anything that is a peanut and/or tree nut. 

Honestly people - if your child is involved in dance or theater or sports or anything where food might be involved and you get a note sent home that asks you to NOT send in any snacks that contain/might contain peanuts and/or tree nuts please FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY listen to that request and honor it.

No one is trying to deny your child's God-given right (insert eye roll here) to eat a PB&J or a bag of almonds. We're just simply requesting that it isn't done in close proximity to our kid who could get sick (or even die) from a reaction to said PB&J or bag of almonds.

You think we're kidding?
Watch this video and then reconsider sending those peanut and tree nut snacks.

Happy Almost New Year!

Yes I have been a total slacker on this blog.

Life is like that.

I still have posts to write about our dining experiences at Walt Disney World (mostly positive) and I'll get to those.

It's been crazy around here with the holidays.

Also, we think Olivia had an allergic reaction to food a few weeks ago.

Long story short: Olivia used to love the regular Krispy Kreme doughnuts (the pre-boxed doughnuts you can buy at the grocery story). The label read as if they were safe. I checked ingredients and labels online and it all seemed OK. Until about a month ago. Liv came home from ballet class feeling totally fine, ate one doughnut, and then went to bed a little bit later.

She woke up a couple hours later and had thrown up IN HER SLEEP. That's right. She threw up in her sleep. I still can't wrap my brain around that.

When she came in our room she was flushed and shaking and said she felt "weird" and dizzy. We cleaned her up, had her brush her teeth, and then she went back to bed. She was fine the next day but we kept her home from school because she was afraid of being sick again.

We have no proof that it was the doughnuts but in digging a little deeper I did discover that while Krispy Kreme says they don't knowingly add peanuts to their products they can't guarantee that the products are peanut and tree nut free because they can't guarantee that their suppliers are a peanut/tree nut free supplier and cross contact may occur.

And so...we've eliminated Krispy Kreme doughnuts from the house.

I think the episode scared Liv and she's been a bit more unsure about food lately. It makes me sad to see her stressed out about food.

Here's to an allergy safe 2016.

Let Her Eat Cake

Ah, birthday cake. Something that seems so simple but can be so complicated when you're dealing with food allergies.

I actually dread birthday party invitations - when Olivia gets invited to a birthday party I know that there's a really good chance she won't be able to eat the birthday cake. Granted there are a couple of parents who go out of their way to (1) bake a safe cake so, or (2) order a safe cake. But that's more of an exception than the rule.

Olivia recently went to a friend's party where the cake was from an "unsafe" bakery and she couldn't have it. She said she was OK about not eating the cake, but I could tell she was a bit sad too.

[Now this is the point where some people will say, "you should have sent her with something to eat!" to which I would respond "Yes, I could have. But I didn't because I didn't think I would need to based on other parties at this house. And that failure is totally on me." So don't judge until you're in MY shoes.]

At that party Olivia was able to enjoy all the other food (including the vanilla ice cream) and she kept insisting that she wasn't too upset about the cake. Me? I would have liked to talk with the parent before the party to know what was being served. But I don't always get what I want.

As difficult at "friend parties" are, when it comes to birthday parties at our house (or within the family) we have two local bakeries where we get our cakes.

The first bakery is Brieschke's Bakery here in Sylvania. They have a "peanut-free and nut-free" area in the kitchen where they prepare cakes in a safe spot. And the peanut/tree nut-free cakes are kept away from the other "unsafe" cakes in the pickup area. This is my favorite spot to get cakes.

Another safe place is Sautter's Markets (again in Sylvania). I ordered safe sugar cookies from here for Olivia's end-of-year party at school. And we've had a few cakes from here too - all peanut/tree nut-free.

That cake? Well that's Olivia's dad's birthday cake - a nut-free red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. YUM!

If we're ordering cakes (or cupcakes) those are the bakeries we're using. Of course I also love to make box cake mixes (or "homemade" cakes ... ha!) ... and for the most part we've found that Betty Crocker cakes are great for peanut/tree nut-free options. (One exception is a Blue Velvet cake mix from good ol' Betty - it has a nut warning right on the label!)

The funny thing about cakes is sometimes - even when we know the cake is safe - Olivia won't eat it. I'm not sure if this is because she's 11-going-on-15 and she's being moody or if she's afraid the cake really isn't safe.

(An aside: I can't imagine what it's like to be afraid to eat something. It makes me sad to know this is Olivia's life right now).

So here's my tip for cakes: If you are hosting a birthday party and inviting kids with food allergies, call those parents and talk to them. If it's possible to get a nut-free and peanut-free cake (if the child in question has those allergies), do it. No one will know the difference (unless of course your kid loves German Chocolate Cake...then there's nothing you can do).

If the cake isn't going to be safe for the kids with food allergies you can either (1) have a safe alternative or (2) CALL THE PARENTS and let them know so that a safe alternative can be sent for their child.

I'll say this again - kids with food allergies shouldn't be left out simply because of their food allergies. If there is a way to include them when it comes to birthday party treats, please do so. You have no idea how much that means to the parents of those kids.

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm off to enjoy a slice of that nut-free and peanut-free red velvet cake. 

Wordless Wednesday - A Cupcake

This is one happy girl! A peanut and tree-nut free cupcake for dessert at Be Our Guest at the Magic Kingdom! When you aren't able to eat dessert at most restaurants it's a pretty BIG DEAL when you find a safe option. And the fact that it's a chocolate cupcake makes it that much better!

Just a Normal Day

OK, I know. I know.

I said I was going to TRY to post every day this month. But it WAS a holiday weekend. So I had a free pass, right? :)

Anyway...last Friday was a BUSY day around here. The girls had golf lessons in the morning, then we spent the day at the swimming pool (in the HOT sun), then we celebrated my niece's 10th birthday with a cookout and cake.

Olivia ate a lot of food. She skipped the birthday cake - I'm guessing because it was from a "new" place that she didn't feel comfortable with. But the cake was nut-free and peanut-free. Sometimes she just doesn't want to eat the safe foods.

What Olivia didn't do on Friday was drink enough fluids (as we would learn on Saturday...just wait for it).

She started complaining of a headache on Friday night and I passed it off as "too much sun."

When she got up on Saturday she said her head still hurt and she was thirsty. So she drank a glass of water. And she was hungry. So I made her pancakes (and by "made her pancakes" I mean I tossed 3 frozen pancakes in the microwave).

A few bites into her breakfast .... she throws up. All over the kitchen floor. The look of shock on her face was memorable to say the least.

My first thought? Not "Oh crap! Liv has the stomach bug!" but rather... "CRAP!!! What did she eat?? Is she having an allergic reaction to something?"

Now, even though I thought she was eating "safe" foods, "is it a reaction?" was still my first thought.

Because that's our reality.

In the end, we determined that she was dehydrated and drank too much water too fast first thing in the morning. By that night she was running through the golf course sprinklers with her cousins and eating (safe) s'mores.

Hope you all had a Happy (and allergy-free) Fourth of July.

What I'm Trying To Say

So since this is my new blog I decided to challenge myself to try and write a post a day this entire month. It's part of the NaBloPoMo series with BlogHer. The theme for July is "Connect" which seems perfect for this blog since that's what I'm trying to do.

Today's writing prompt is sort of perfect: "Do people generally understand what you're trying to say?"

Um. No.

I don't think that most people do "get" what I'm trying to say when it comes to food allergies. Oh sure, there are a select few who "get it" - my family, some friends, and well that's about it.

When Olivia was first diagnosed with her food allergies someone actually posted on Facebook "It's not the end of the world."

No, it's not. And I never said back in 2011 that her food allergies were the end of the world. But they were the end of the way things were. Gone were the days of eating out wherever we wanted or grabbing a package of those "break-and-bake" cookies at the store. In one day everything about how Olivia ate was changed.

Fast forward a few years and as I become a louder advocate for my child and her food allergies I have found that many people choose to only hear what they want. Or they just don't listen at all.

I had a country club manager tell me last summer that food labels were only "created by lawyers" to protect companies.

Yeah. No.

I have been told to "step up" by other parents at Olivia's former elementary school when I pushed back on why everything has to revolve around food at school. I have been accused of wanting to create a nut-free school when in reality all I was asking for was some cooperation from other parents.

So you see, not everyone understands what I'm tying to say.

When I ask for a nut-free alternative at school events - for all kids with peanut and/or tree nut allergies, NOT just for my daughter - I'm not trying to be difficult or start an argument. I'm advocating for the safety of kids with food allergies. I'm doing my best to make sure that those kids aren't singled out for their food allergies but are instead invited to participate with all the other kids.

When I push back and demand to be heard it's not because I'm trying to be a bitch. It's because I want other parents to understand that it really does take a village to keep kids with food allergies safe. It's about inclusion not exclusion.

When I talk about food allergies at school it's not because I want a peanut-free school (although I wouldn't complain one bit if classrooms with food allergy kids banned cupcakes and cookies for parties and birthdays), it's because I want people to understand the seriousness of the issue. (And because I would like to see the end of birthday cupcakes and events centered around food.)

And when I hear other parents say things like "well that's not fair to the other kids" or "my child can ONLY eat peanut butter so too bad for you" I know that they aren't understanding the big picture.

Which is why I started this blog. To talk about that big picture. To talk about food allergies and how it's very likely that your child WILL have a classmate (or four) with some kind of food allergy. To talk about how great it is when people are supportive and protective of my child.

So hopefully people will understand what I'm trying to say here and are willing to listen. Because food allergies aren't going away. And neither am I.

Random Things I Think About All the Time

I will freely admit that I'm always thinking about Olivia's food allergies.

I'll see a recipe in a food magazine and think "well, that's one more thing I can't make." Or I'll be watching a cooking show (as I do every night while I cook dinner) and the chef will be making something with hazelnuts, or peanuts, or pecans and before thinking "wow that looks amazing!" I'll think "Olivia will never get to eat that." Or I'll be checking out a menu at a local restaurant and the only words that pop out are "sesame," "hazelnut," "pecans", and the like.

Now that might sound all doom-and-gloom to you but it's the reality we deal with.

As of right this very moment Olivia can't eat a myriad of things including: pesto (pine nuts = tree nuts), pecan pie, Nutella, most candy bars including those "without" nuts because they're processed in the same facility as peanuts and/or tree nuts, a bagel from our local bagel spot (Barry Bagels), a Big Mac, a Quarter Pounder, a burger or anything else from Five Guys, some brands of pretzels, some types of crackers, pistachios, anything from Chick Fil A, hummus, Almond Milk (or Cashew Milk), M&Ms, Burger King, anything with peanut butter, sesame seeds, most break-and-bake cookies, peanuts, doughnuts and cookies from most bakeries, most chocolate chips, some cereals, regular bread crumbs, milkshakes from Steak 'n Shake, Cool Whip, McFlurries from McDonalds, frozen coffees from just about every coffee shop, almonds, walnuts, any tree nuts (the risk isn't worth it), anything processed in a facility that also processed peanuts and/or tree nuts, anything with sesame seeds....and the list goes on.

Trust me when I say the list of can't-eat items is MUCH longer but I decided to NOT add everything. But you get the idea, right? 

It's no wonder that I spend a lot of time thinking about Olivia's allergies.

I also think these random thoughts:

- I hope she never gets bullied at school for her food allergies. Kids (and adults) can be so mean and heartless. 

- What if someone tries to bully her with food? 

- Why does everything at school have to revolve around food? Since when did cupcakes become so freaking important?

- What happens when she starts dating? What if her boyfriend wants to kiss her but he just ate Nutella? Oh my gosh! She's going to be kissing boys! And they can't eat the food she's allergic too! 

-What happens when she goes out with her friends in high school and she has to carry her EpiPens? Will her friends be supportive of her and the food choices she has to make? 

- Oh crap. She's going to go to college someday. Will she be able to manage her food allergies?

- I just ate pecan pie at Thanksgiving dinner. Now I can't/won't give her a kiss goodnight. 

- We're on a plane. I hope no one eats anything that she's allergic too. Oh great, they're selling snack boxes full of things with tree nuts. 

- I hate nuts. 

- Crap. I ate a sesame seed bagel at lunch. I need to wash my hands. And brush my teeth. 

- Oh good. It's Halloween again. Time to trick-or-treat and get a bucket full of candy she can't eat. I hate holidays. 

- This is so unfair for Olivia. 

- OK. Time to create an Easter basket with no candy. 

- I sure hope the allergy tests are negative next time. 

- Maybe it's time to do a food challenge?

- Why her?

- Oh man. She wants to try crab legs at dinner. What if she's allergic to shellfish and we don't know it? Good thing the EpiPens are nearby. 

- I hate food allergies. 

- The waitress says she told the chef about Olivia's allergies. But what if she didn't? 

- Did the waiter/waitress REALLY write down the list of food allergies? 

- Oh shit! Olivia just opened a package of crackers that were covered in sesame seeds! Holy SHIT! Quick! Brush off the table. Get the crackers away! Wash her hands. (This actually DID happen a few weeks ago - we were at a new-to-us place in the Outer Banks and Olivia opened a package of crackers that had sesame seeds on top. I have NEVER seen someone drop something SO FAST. She recovered quickly. Me, not so much).

...and the list goes on and on. 

So you see...allergies are an everyday kind of thing.
We take the good with the bad.
There are small victories and big defeats.

Yesterday Olivia's dad took her to the ice cream shop up in Maberry and SURPRISE! they really DID have a bottle of Hersheys' chocolate syrup behind the counter. So my vanilla ice cream kid was able to skip the sprinkles and have chocolate syrup instead. She was VERY happy.

Which just goes to show: sometimes all it takes is some chocolate syrup on a bowl of vanilla ice cream and all is right with the world.

Hi There.

So because I don't have enough to do already (cough, cough) I decided it was high time to start another blog.

You know, to add to the three I already have (one of which I sort of pay attention to, one that I'm trying to love more, and one that I haven't loved posted on in YEARS).

But this blog is different.

This is all about allergies. Olivia's allergies to be specific.

If you're new to my world (hello you!), let me give you the 4-1-1 on what's going on.

Olivia is 11. She'll be entering 6th grade in the fall (ACK!) and she's been living with food allergies since the fall of 2011.

She was diagnosed with allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame seeds when she was in the second grade. To say we were shocked by the diagnosis would be an understatement. We had NO idea that anything was wrong.

In retrospect we probably should have suspected something - she would throw up after eating peanut butter and finally stopped eating at completely. We dined at a Hibachi restaurant about 10 months before her diagnosis and she was ill that night (we know now that it was from the sesame seeds). And as a baby she had horrible eczema and issues with certain formulas).

Now, we've been living with and dealing with the challenges of life-threatening food allergies for almost four years.

I wish I could say it gets easier but it doesn't. It's more of a routine now. There are still tears and frustration (from Olivia mostly but also from me). There are challenges. There are horrible people who can't see past the end of their noses.

But we deal.

So this blog is going to be about how we're dealing. And what we're doing. And places we love to visit in our city (the "Glass City" is Toledo, Ohio just in case you were wondering) and beyond. I'm going to share a lot, so be prepared.

And, thanks for reading!